And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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