the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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