i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
