I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
