I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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