Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
