Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
