I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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