I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
