in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
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