is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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