bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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