I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
