Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
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