just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
