last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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