I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
