She's JV to your varsity
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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