Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
