Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
