you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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