You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
