with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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