i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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