WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
