I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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