So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
