Your tits are I can't wait for
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
