I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
