this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
