This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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