Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Dignity is for republicans.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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