dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
