this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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