ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Randomize
