No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
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