Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
