She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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