seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
