Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
