so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
honey bunches of taint.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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