So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
