no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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