ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
