in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
