I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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