i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
