Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
