tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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