I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I checked into jail on foursquare
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
