So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
